The Awkward Moment

The things I loved to do in China now seem ridiculous to be done in Chicago. I was a talkative person when I lived in China because I could exactly express what I wanted to say in Chinese and I loved spending my time in the supermarket which I regarded as entertainment. I was also fond of having meals outside with family or friends now and then. However, since I came to Chicago, I have been struggling with the language barrier. This new language frequently troubles me and sometimes makes me embarrassed. That talkative person was become taciturn and no longer loved going outside.  

After coming to Chicago, I felt upset because I could not often talk about my daily life to my close old friends who speak the same language with me. Even though I have made new friends here, I still feel depressed sometimes. I consider that I cannot communicate with them well due to my poor listening and speaking skills. There are many words with a similar pronunciation in English. Last semester, my friend said, she always took care of two kitties after class, but I wrongly heard kids, which made me embarrassed and I was scared to offend her. In addition, I still do not know many of the most common words related to daily life. I always use a translator in my hand in case that I do not know how to say the word. My foreign friends and I share daily life with each other. Sometimes I do not know what are they saying, so they explain and describe to me with both body language and voice. All these inconvenience bother me and I have lost courage and confidence to express myself.
                    

In China, I used to go to the supermarket which offers various kinds of food, including my favorite snacks and yogurt. When I go to the supermarket in Chicago, I’m attracted by abundant snacks all that are new to me. Therefore, I want to try them all, but I need to check most words on the package to know what is inside because I cannot get the information I want just from the picture. So this usually makes me have no interest in buying it as though I were driving as an illiterate person. Furthermore, I used to check the date of manufacture and quality guarantee period on the package before buying Chinese goods, which was reassuring. In contrast, I’m not accustomed to looking through Better before month/ day/ year in American supermarkets because the date makes me confused when was it produced. What a pity that I have lost one more interest---shopping in the supermarket.
              

Each time when I have meals with foreign friends or alone in Chicago, I’m so afraid of ordering meals in English. One of the reasons is vocabulary because I do not know the meaning on the name of the dish. Another reason is I do not know how to read the name of the dish, which is not cool to say this as I’m pointing at the picture or words while I’m ordering meals. In the United States, I cannot have meals at the foreign restaurant by myself except for McDonald’s because there are set several self-service machines. I can remember my first order at Subway as if it were yesterday. That day I took the picture they posted outside the door, then I showed them what I wanted. I thought they would give me the same one, but that is not what happened, while they asked a bunch of overwhelming questions to me. I was at a loss and nervous. I know it is unavoidable to have meals with foreign friends outside and that day was coming so soon. I felt embarrassed for being ignorant of omelettes, paninis, and muffins.
                      

The impact of the new language on my life has made me lose what I loved doing in China. I’m not a talkative person anymore, shopping in the supermarket and having meals outside also cannot delight me anymore. I believe most Chinese students have the same challenge with me---language barrier. Even if I have been in Chicago for almost five months, I had not integrated English into my life quite well. My mother always says, I will make progress naturally if I stay here longer. The language barrier I’m suffering now will slowly get better over time. I hope everything goes well as she says because I need a wish if it comes true one day.